BP, oh, BP

Well, so much for the "junk shot," and the "top kill" and the "little dome" and the "big dome." So much for "relief valves" and "blowout preventers" and "drilling mud" and chopped-up golf balls. Now we get to sit back and watch helplessly while BP endeavors to employ a "lower marine riser package," that even if it works, will only "minimize the amount of oil reaching the shore," not stop it. Five weeks and counting. Next, we'll just have to wait another month or two or three for the "relief wells" while another bazillion gallons of crude soil the waters and connected ecosystems of our beloved Gulf of Mexico. Oh, and there's the possibility that it will spread to the Atlantic coast as well. Oh yeah, and by the way, hurricane season starts this week! Take that, Louisiana!

As Exxon rakes in record profits for the umpteenth year in a row, two decades after their brush with infamy called the Valdez, BP has now trumped their oil brethren with the worst man-made environmental disaster ever recorded in the United States. And it ain't over yet! Now that's something to be proud of. If you can't out-earn them, by God, out-spill them! And of course, along with it comes news that BP has been, according to headlines, "less than forthcoming with information about it's oil spill," and is losing credibility as each effort to stop the spill fails. Duh!

From the Associated Press also comes the now-all-too-obvious revelation that, "On almost every issue - the amount of gushing oil, the environmental impact, even how to stop the leak - BP's statements have proved wrong. The erosion of the company's credibility may prove as difficult to stop as the oil spewing from the sea floor." I smell a rat; a gooey, filthy, oil soaked, Xs-for-eyes, floating rat. Get ready, people, as more and more information leaks out (leaks - ironic, no?) - in the form of internal memos and e-mails and such - we're going to learn that - brace yourself here - another humongous, multinational, Fortune 100 conglomerate was playing hanky-panky with the rules so they could make a few extra bucks. And, the very folks being paid by our taxpayer dollars charged with oversight of said conglomerate, were essentially complicit in their failure to enforce those rules. Gee, do you think there could be a connection between the fact that the people who work for the hopefully-soon-to-be-defunct Minerals Management Service, who pretty much all previously worked for the companies in the industries they're charged with overseeing and the fact that oversight was, shall we say, a bit lax? My, doesn't that have a familiar ring to it? Can you say, "banking industry redux?"

So, once again, the insanely-compensated suits parade before Congress and proceed to blame one another as we watch in disbelief on C-Span, all the while lobbying for their own financial liability to be capped. BP had net profits in 2009 of nearly $17 billion. That's billion with a "b." And that was on the heels of over $21 billion in net profits in 2008. What do you think folks? Does that sound like a company that should have its damages capped? Expecially one that knowingly failed to follow appropriate protocols which would have prevented the spill in the first place? Not only should they pay - all of them (that means you too, Transocean, and you too, Haliburton) - but every executive in every liable company should be required to don those protective jumpsuits, rubber gloves and masks and man the front lines in the cleanup effort. And, they should not be allowed to stop until the President of the United States tells them they can. Then, seeing as how they're top-notch businessmen, you know, best and brightest, cream of the crop and all that, they should be required to help rebuild every company that will be decimated by this catastrophe, and just for good measure, pay off the mortgages and other indebtedness that will inevitably befall the residents of these coastal regions after the loss of their livelihoods. Sorry BP shareholders, it's going to be a millenium or two before you see another dividend check in your mailboxes.

Amid the outrage that followed the Exxon Valdez we heard the cry, "never again!" Well, again happened, and on a scale that will eventually make the Valdez look like a piker. This time will the rallying cry be the same "never again?" Here on the Gulf Coast of Florida, we look out across the green-blue water and wonder when. When will it hit us? Our brothers and sisters in Louisiana and Alabama already have their answer as they put on their jumpsuits, gloves and masks and grab a bottle of Dawn. And I'm guessing they're not thinking, "never again." I'm guessing it's more along the lines of, "What in God's name are we going to do now?" BP, turn off the oil and get out your checkbook. While there's still fish to fish for, I'm . . .

. . .Wishin' I Was Fishin'